Abraca-Wade!

Wade Barrett won a little show called NXT, and rightfully so; he already had a nice ring presence and a way of demanding attention on the mic. Those qualities, along with the fact that Chris Jericho, the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-a, was his "mentor," had me pegging him for success from the very first episode. And I was right -- The next thing we knew, he was leading calculated attacks on wrestling legends and taking over Monday Night Raw as head of The Nexus before going on to do the same to Smackdown as head of The Corre. He even got his hands on the Intercontinental Championship along the way. Sounds great, right? Well...

Success, you fickle mistress, you. How quick you were to turn thy gaze away from Wade's blazer wearing wonder. Was it the crooked nose? You know who else has crooked noses? Albus Freaking Dumbledore; the multi-talented Stephen Fry, narrator of the British version of the Harry Potter audio books; even Ringo Star, who I like to think is a huge Potter fan. Oh yeah, and he was in some band called The Beatles, or whatever.

As you can tell, I'm a huge Potter Head, but I digress.

Wade won NXT! How is it fair that he's being squashed by Cena while Justin "One 450-Splash Pony" Gabriel and that Cock-a-Doodle-Dufus Heath Slater are three-time Tag Team Champions? Hell, even David Otunga, Attorney at Raw has been getting more airtime. And Daniel Bryan? That dude should hand the Money in the Bank briefcase over to Barrett and give his beard back to Hornswaggle.

And whatever happened to the prize for winning season one of NXT? Doesn't he have the right to take a shot at any title on a pay-per-view event of his choosing? You know what, Daniel Bryan? I hope you cash in that briefcase and win yourself a shiny, new belt, I really do. And then I hope Wade comes out, challenges you, and you accept because you're such a goody-goody. I want to see him Wasteland you so hard you vomit up a month's worth of tofu, you vegan chump.

photo via allwrestlingsuperstars.com

I honestly don't understand why Barrett isn't more popular. Why isn't he one of the top heels on Smackdown? Only Cody Rhodes seems to get more heat from the crowd than him. Why not give Chicken Legs Rhodes a night off to do squats and see how Barrett does as a main eventer? I'm telling you, Internet, put him back in the spotlight and the crowd will learn to love Wade Barrett all over again.

Or at least let him hold Daniel Bryan down so we can forcefully shave off his collection of face pubes.

That thing's getting gross...